This is me c.")

Pitong taon na rin pala ang nakalipas, pitong taon na rin hindi ko naririnig ang boses ng aking ama. Hanggang ngayon ang naiisip ko na nasa Riyadh lang siya working for our future. Yun nga lang pitong taon na rin siyang hindi nagbabakasyon.

Tandang-tanda ko pa yung huli naming pagkikita sa Riyadh. Nagmano lang ako sa kanya ni hindi ko man lang siya niyakap dahil dala na rin marahil sa aking personality. Kung alam ko lang na yun ang huling pagkikita namin ay niyakap at hinalikan ko ng buong puso ang aking ama. Bago pa ang pagkikita iyon ay sa Al Khobar, winter season noon, pabiro niya akong niyaya na magsu-swimming daw kami. Syempre dahil sa alam ko naman na nagbibiro lang siya ay hindi ako sumama. Nag-fishing lang siya kasama ang kanyang mga kaibigan. Again, kung alam ko lang na yun ang mga ala-alang dadalhin ko hanggang ngayon sana ay mas napaganda ko pa ang mga huli naming pagkikita.

Papa, alam kong nasa Maylikha ka na. Patuloy n'yo pa rin sana na gabayan kami at iparamdam sa amin ang iyong pagmamahal. Miss ka na po namin lalo na ni mommy at nang dalawa ninyong anak. Alam ko, hindi man nila sabihin sa akin. Higit sa lahat mahal na mahal ka po namin. Muli salamat sa lahat ng pagmamahal ni binigay ninyo sa amin.

Yes, seven years has passed and yet the pain is still here, it never leave us, we only got used to it.

Sorry kung wala akong naging blog entries for this month. Marami naman ang nangyari pero talagang naging busy lang talaga ako with work and to our on-going basketball tournament.

I must admit, exciting din pala ang manood nang basketball especially kung mga cuties, pero kung puro shrimpy lang naman hindi bale na. Pero sometimes kahit hindi kagwapuhan basta magaling sa basketball, effect na. =)

Hindi naging maganda ang simula ang araw ko, pero napaganda eto nang ibigay ng amo ko ang aking Employee Performance Evaluation. With all modesty, yours truly got an outstanding remark, the highest recognition an employee can get. As a proof you can find below the said evaluation. My apology if I have to cropped the said document to protect our company and our management, aside form the fact na this is supposed to be a confidential document. =)

Employee Performance Evaluation

See paid-off lahat ng aking pagod at mga trabahong out of the box or out of my job scope kasi na-satisfy ko naman sila at binigyan naman nila ako ng fair remark.

Let me close this story by quoting my boss comment,

"Addy, you deserved this perfomance evaluation rate and we expect you will maintain that way."

Well that's what will I do with His blessings and guidance.

So that's it for now. Until next time. Cheers! =)

I just want to share this anecdote with you and I lift all the praises and glory to our Lord God Almighty in Jesus name.

Just a minute ago while I was preparing my pouch for our head office for delivery, my supervisor (SAH) approached me and told me that our Sr. Project Manager, YAA is happy and satisfied with my performance as a PMT^*1 secretary reliever which will be by the way until July 8. Honestly, I don't know how to react the moment he told me the good news. To give you a little background of our Sr. Project Manager, he is very keen and sensitive to all our moves and works we are doing. One wrong move, then he'll shout at you that almost everyone in the building hears it. I had that experienced together with my colleague one day and I promise to myself it will not happen no more. Sadly, it happened again when a group of my colleagues decided to go out during work time to do personal errand. Perhaps you know what transpired next. Yes, your guessed is right, he yelled at me right in front of other co-workers at the conference room. The only words that came out to my lips was "I'm sorry". Upon hearing it, silence came and I left the room for lunch. Anyway, that was a history. Now, what matter most is that his pleased, contented and satisfied with my performance and hopefully it will reflect to my upcoming SMP^*2 performance evaluation this coming August 2011.

We'll see and I will keep you posted.

• 1 PMT - Project Management Team
• 2 SMP - Supplemental Manpower

I don't know but this is what I feel the whole day today. Something is missing, something is lacking. Until finally, I read this message from one of the social networks, and it says:

"... that when you feel down, look at yourself through God's eyes. There are times when no matter how hard you try, you just cannot accept yourself as you are. During such times, think of how you look to God's eyes. In God's eyes, there is no judgment, there is only acceptance. God sees your light when all that you can see are your shadows. God loves you more than anyone could ever love you as you really are."

After reading it, somehow it lessens the despondent feeling that I have. They say it happens to all and most especially to a single person like me who only wants to love and in return to be loved. Who only wants to have a family that I can call my own but I guess the possibility of having one is far from the reality. I have planned my future of being a single but still hoping to have someone who will be by my side until the last breath I will inhale.

I can easily buy sex but not true love, I can easily buy company but not true friends, I can basically buy anything and everything but I cannot buy the real happiness of having them all and I know it from the depth of my heart.

Someone told me that I will just have to pray fervently and maybe my dream of having someone and a family of my own might come true. I hope it will happen sooner, but if not, I’m still blessed because I have my mom, sister and brother and a friend I can call my own. Most of all I have Him who loves me unconditionally.

Few months back, I asked my friend, Amber (a.k.a Buboy) if he could share some of his magnificent photos for my blog and without hesitation he gave some of his art work. I am so ashamed that even until now none of his photos were used. Anyhow, let me share those five (5) brilliant, majestic Amber's work of art.

tanglaw

sigh... life

dapit hapon

locked

lifeline

Aren't they awesome?

click here to see more of Buboy's works of art (photostream)

I would like to take this opportunity to greet him a (belated) happy birthday last June 13, 2011. Thank you also for sharing your skills and talents in our recent photography workshop entitled "Drawing with Light 101".

Ilang taon ka na ba friendship? =)